Failure is a Launch Pad

Picture it. Oroville, CA in the 1980s. Heard of it? Probably not. I grew up in the tiny Oroville bubble with incredible role models and loved it. My dad, a civil engineer, ran the Chamber of Commerce and started the local soccer league that still operates to this day. My mom led everything from church groups to CCD, to school board and sports team meetings. I had confidence in that world. Well, until we had to leave it and move on up to the east side. Well, the south side to Sacramento. Suddenly, my comfort zone evaporated and I was terrified. After we moved, I started quitting things...dance, gymnastics, student council ...anything that felt uncomfortable. Fear and self-doubt became my norm for years.

Fast-forward to high school, which brought four years of invisibility, as well as secret dreams of being a news anchor. But I failed at pursuing that dream because I didn't believe in myself. College gave me a new bubble, a new comfort zone, and a new dream: After earning two degrees in biology and a minor in chemistry from San Francisco State University, I thought I was on my way to becoming a doctor. But fear still held me back...from things like taking the MCAT because I thought I would fail.

Post-masters, I needed to survive in the real world, so I reluctantly put my resume on Monster. Anyone remember that site? Pre-LinkedIn! Well, a few days later NASA called. Yep, no joke...NASA! I had to replay the message on my answering machine at least three times to believe it and call back. A few weeks later, I got my first post-school job managing biological payloads that would fly on the Space Shuttle. Thrilling. Life-changing. A literal launch pad! And, another new comfort zone. I worked for years on the mission, and would move to Cocoa Beach, FL, to support the flight in early 2003.

I stood as close as I could get to the launch pad for photo ops and was filled with emotion when I watched Space Shuttle Columbia launch into space on the cold morning of January 16, 2003. I was glued to NASA TV during the 16-day mission, monitoring the projects onboard that I managed and their ground experiment controls at Cape Canaveral. But, 16 days later, Columbia would disintegrate on re-entry as my team and I waited on the runway at Kennedy Space Center for it to land. We waited excitedly with the head of NASA and the astronauts' families. My comfort zone literally disintegrated on that day. I felt lost. For a couple of years post-Columbia, I worked to get payloads to the International Space Station aboard Russian Soyuz rockets, but you try getting a biological payload from Houston to Kazakhstan. A bit of a challenge!

A couple of years later, I worked hard to pivot my story and get into tech, convincing the hiring managers at HP Software (pre HPE) that a scientist is basically a storyteller. That comfort zone led me to my first on-camera experiences (my high school dream and true professional true love), but I still doubted myself. I failed for years to even say out loud that I wanted to be on-air. Again, self-doubt and imposter syndrome got the best of me.

Over the years life threw more curveballs, including a shock divorce, and the devastating loss of my father. Survival and resilience became my only options. I knew at that moment that I had to use my failures as launch pads, as failure was no longer an option I could afford. I worked hard.

Then came a turning point: a chance audition to host theCUBE live streaming tech show. Two years later, I got the courage to complete that audition. For the first time, professionally, I felt alive, authentic, and confident. This show became my biggest launch pad yet.

It was during my nearly eight years on theCUBE when I was able to shed the imposter syndrome once and for all. I embraced total authenticity and vulnerability...basically as survival tactics...It wasn't strategic at first. After being surrounded by tech experts for many years, I started to acknowledge all the things I didn't know, on live streaming TV. Things I thought were failures…but they were actually launch pads. 

Once I did that, and embraced who I am - a marketing storyteller and a tech and business analyst and a media contributor - I was able to open up my ears and eyes to learning.

Over time, I learned to not start new, small comfort zones, but to expand my comfort zone. The teenage dream I thought I had failed at? Realized. I am a regular emcee for companies like Boomi and a  featured Tech, Martech and Business Analyst on The Schwab Network and iHeartRadio, with some exciting new networks in the works!

After many years, I have finally learned that failure is a launch pad.

Key Takeaways on Failure is a Launch Pad

• Failure is a launch pad. Use it to leap forward and soar.

• Comfort zones are temporary. You don’t build character in comfort so expand them. That’s where the magic happens.

• Self-doubt is a habit, not a destiny. Don’t let “I’m not good enough” dictate your choices.

• Authenticity + vulnerability = superpowers. They build trust and open doors.

• Dreams can take decades, but they are always achievable.